Thursday, December 31, 2009

it's 2010!!!

well, there's actually nothing to exclaim about as in the title above (just could not think of any better punctuation mark)...

it's 25 minutes past year 2009 and i have been sitting in front of my laptop for 2 hours doing literally nothing. no outing, no counting down and no any form of celebration. perhaps this is a more comfortable way of welcoming the new year instead of counting down with the crowd that we don't know, who will indeed add more emptiness to the already empty festival itself, LOL...

few hours ago i was still in tanjung karang (it's located near kuala selangor n it's the place that i will b in for the next 2 months doing my medicine n society posting). people said it's a honey-moon posting but i had not cultivated any interest in this posting YET, but i hope that i'l b enjoying it for the next 6 weeks.

being there for almost 1 week, frankly speaking i have nothing much 2 complain about the life there except boring lectures that could really kill. it's one of those rare times in my life as a medical student where i can b a couch potato n sleep (n of course eat) without any guilt. it's like a vacation in those countryside chalets (well, girls' rooms are air-conditioned, poor boys) where u can really sit back n relax.

back to our new year topic...
should i have at least some new year resolutions?
my ans: no after realising that i had none of my resolutions fulfilled last year.
thus my conclusion for this yr: the best resolution is to have no resolution at all since we don't know what is coming after us in life (right?). but hopefully il b a better me or at least not becoming worse (kinda abstract huh).

*happy (possible? i doubt) new year*

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Tenji buffet @ Soho

(p/s: this is supposed to b posted last week)

well, it's the moment that everyone in our posting has been waiting for...
yup, it's the first day of JKM posting for us after 3 successive postings of non-stop clerking patients and 'warding'. bye bye to white coat and wards for 2 months.

the last lecture ended at ard 1pm and we promptly started our journey to mont kiara, a place that i had never been b4 and we were all stunned by the magnificent view of the buildings there. an ideal place to live in if u have enough asset.

here we go...

My 'main course' of the day:
seafood (i grabbed lots of crabs in it, huhu) bottomed with miso soup (my 'must have' for japanese meal)
















our '1st round' (only half of it is shown here):
















Japanese cheesecake(s)



















some kind of muesli i guess and....

they tasted nice!!














scallops topped with peanut butter

(what a weird combination and they tasted as weird as they looked)



















i created my own 'fundae'


















Haegen-daez green-tea n strawberry ice-cream

~simply
irresistable~














ketam o ketam


















Japanese snail















fresh (aka uncooked) oyster

(i held my breath to finish it, kinda disgusting)


















finally, merry xmas!!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

God i need Your blessings...

2 more days... then that's it...
every1 else is going back for holidays but im stil here with my fellow posting-mates, yet 2 sit for the short case examination next wk...

God, i really need ur blessings,
may i not getting tough examiners,
may the patients cooperate,
may i not panicked,
may i finish everything in time,
and may everything goes smooth...

pls, pls, pls....
~amitabha~

*exhausted*

~happy (belated) birthday~

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

feMALE and woMAN

Woman has Man in it;

Mrs. has Mr . in it;

Female has Male in it;

She has He in it;

Madam has Adam in it;

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...

I never looked at it this way before:

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

MEN tal illness

MEN strual cramps

MEN tal breakdown

MEN opause

GUY necologist

AND ...

When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.

21st Century FACTS

Our communication - Wireless

Our phones - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our food - Fatless

Our Sweets - Sugarless

Our labor - Effortless

Our relations - Fruitless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Worthless

Our Mistakes - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our youth - Jobless

Our Boss - Brainless

Our Jobs - Thankless

Our Needs - Endless

Our situation - Hopeless

Our Salaries - Less and less

bloody o bloody...

today, iv managed to draw a blood sample for coagulation profile from a patient on warfarin, FINALLY.... not 'tatooing' the patient, not causing bulging of vein, no inadequate blood sample, no needle-prick injury n with glove ON..

i know it's just a small matter for a medical student, and every medical student under the sky would manage to do so without much hassle. its definitely not a big issue but somehow i have a boost in self-esteem each time i manage to carry out a procedure. it's indeed disheartening to cause pain to the patient each time failing to do so.

well, we had been taught to learn from mistakes, but i really feel bad when each misconduct we do (sounds nicer if i call it 'experience'?) is causing pain and inflicting torment in our patients, though i know it's impossible to succeed in every procedure, even with experienced hand.

another flattering event today was that one of the patients actually called me as her 'grand-daughter' hahaha.... i could really feel her warm heart when she actually holded my hand so tightly that i felt that everything i do is worthwhile, and i shall stop complaining about the 'suffering' as a medical student, as medicine is a field that is so rewarding that u would not have the thought of quitting it if u have enough passion (of which im lack too sometimes). i know its hard but i hope that all of us could maintain the 'ignition' till the end by not giving up (although iv been so 'duo luo' for so many days, with the short case exam on next week, *a slap on my face*)..

there it came another uncle (we called him uncle with 'a special heart', as he has dextrocardia, a very rare cardiological condition), who asked me to buy some biscuits and breads for him b4 doing a physical examination. he was so glad when i 'accomplished my task' and thank us non-stop. sometimes its not about the reward u get when helping others, but the satisfaction u get at the end of the day that counts. as the saying goes, "the truth about happiness is that, it has to be given to others first, before u can finally possess it".

well, looks like i really have to stop here. have to summarize 2 cases for my logbook n to finish my um express for the coming short case.

till then, will update more about my life as a medical student.
goodnight to the planet called Earth, and good morning to myself.
+oil, +oil...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

craving for ice

omg i cant believe that i actually went to 100yen AGAIN today, just to have a bite of the snowy which i wrote in my last post.




















oops its sharon staring at me...
still waiting for my snowy 2 b served...






















milky flavored snowy topped with chocolate chips and choc syrup..
~slurrrrpp~























as iv promised: green-tea flavored snowy with red beans (sharon's favorite)


















snapped this from another corner of the counter.
look, it's even cuter than the one i caught yesterday!
i want it for my X'mas present!!!

特别分享之《低调》

嬉笑 打闹 拥抱
留下了那么多开心合照
互相取暖依靠 熬过了最低潮
一起生活 也一起埋怨过
走过最好与最糟
我在心里想的不用说明 你知道

晨昏 日夜 颠倒
这房子突然没从前热闹
散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫
感情很微妙 再多付出也好
再多关心都徒劳
爱情从来就没有固定的味道
它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调
因为不想打扰
我在寂寞的墙角
努力的对自己好
你用微笑回报
朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调 傻子才会哭闹
就算你发现也好
我想你一定会选择 假装不知道
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好
难到是我对我自己 不够好

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
这首歌的歌词,阿管写得实在太棒了。

难过,失落,落寞等负面情绪,
留给自己,就够了;
自己感伤,就好了;
把情绪加诸于别人,是不对的;
把快乐都留给自己,是自私的。

因为这世界是现实的,
它只爱面带笑容的你,
它厌倦面容憔悴的你。

所以,
难过,低调就好。
至少,我对得起这世界;
至少,我还算是开心的。

Saturday, December 5, 2009

early Xmas dinner '09

well, went 4 a simple dinner in station 1 cafe but it turned out to be an X-mas meal as the restaurant was doing a promotion with Xmas set.

price: rm 28.90 (excluding tax, but stil affortable)

starter: mushroom soup




















drink: jasmine iced-tea (my all-time favourite)




















main course : fried chicken (could not appreciate the exact flavour) with "merry xmas" on top, with a layer of mashed potato across the middle of the chic (cool), side dishes including coleslaw and a thai-flavored pasta (kinda weird combination)
















dessert: chocolate-flavored (other options: yam,strawberry) ice-cream topped with choc syrup
















free-gift: an Xmas teddy bear (yes it's free)



















lucky draw (scratch n win): "merry christmas" meaning sorry pls cm again nx tm kakaka...


-------------------------------------------------------------

later on, went to 100yen (a japanese-themed frachised convenient store) for some ice...
ordered a mango-flavored snow-mountain. man... the texture really nice, will definitely revisit it agian. my next target: green tea snow-mountain, yuhoo!!




















before we called it a day, took tis very cute deco in front of the store, and in front of the storekeeper. its a mercy she did not chase us out wakaka... (she should thank me for doing a free promotion for the shop)

Friday, December 4, 2009

好想。回家。

这里很好,
真的很好,
天空很蓝,
夜景很美,
吃喝玩乐,
什么都不缺。


但是,
这里不是我家,
这里的每一寸土地都很不踏实,
这里的每一面风景都好陌生,
这里的空气让人濒临窒息,
这里的一切让人日渐麻木。


我并不是想抱怨些什么,
就如我说的,这里真的很好,
就少了那么一点点...


我只想,
回家,
回到属于自己的地方。

points to ponder

也许向往自由的你,会让他人受到伤害。(飞走了,它就淹死了)













你或许和周围的人不一样,别人为了生活忙碌,你却想着怎么飞走

















伤了不表示你从此不能再飞


















你能搬得动梦想!















有捷径就别大费周章
















自由原来是另一种束缚。














惯性思维,会让人变的迟钝的一种东西。

















善待别人就是善待自己。

Thursday, December 3, 2009

特别分享之《可惜不是你》

这一刻突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天今天同时在放映
我这句语气原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据

差一点骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己
努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏线
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你
陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你
牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔

那一段我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权利关心你
可能你已走进别人风景
多希望也有星光的投影
努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏线
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你
陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你
牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔

可惜不是你
陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你
牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你
牵过我的手
还能温暖我胸口

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
重新爱上这首梁静茹的旧作,心里掀了片刻...
总是有太多可惜,让许多事情与人物,到后来也许只是蓦然回首时的擦肩而过。
当时执着与坚信的一切,往往是往后某年某月某一天,自嘲当初太年少轻狂的笑料,到最后连那么一点回味的心情都省下来了。
是的,很多时候,故事还没到达终点,下一刻会发生的事情永远是未知数。

藤井树在《六弄咖啡馆》里写道:“...只是不太勇敢的我们,总让许多缘分在岁月中蹉跎... 我很庆幸的是你一直把我留在身边,但失落的是,我从来都不是你的谁...”虽然并非亲身经验,但故事书翻到最后一页时,酸酸的滋味还是不禁涌上心头。回忆就像午后响起的春雷,总让人怦然心跳;总有些人,有些事或许曾经在你心中占据一些位置,但想回到过去?已经没有勇气了,那份感动也已经销声匿迹了。到头来,回忆,就真的只是回忆。

可惜我没问过自己想要些什么,
可惜我没曾对自己感觉诚实过,
可惜我只是个胆小鬼,
可惜我只会说可惜,

可惜...
不是你...

Monday, November 30, 2009

from sharon

...tO my dEar...

...haPPy 22nd bfDay...

-1-

...maY aLL ur dreAms c0me...

-2-

...maY ur whIte hoRse pRince f0unD u so0n...

-3-

...maY uR daYs b fiLLed with laughter,sunsHine,rainBow,sWeets and cAndy...

-4-

...maY u sTay happY everyDay...

-5-

...May u kOngxu nO mOre...

-6-

...MaY u becOme a greaT doctor 1 daY...

-7-

...maY aLL ur sorrOws be swePt awaY...

-8-

...sTay preTTy alWays...

-9-

...dun JuSt c0unt Ur yeaRs..make It counT...

-10-

...eat more,driNk more n Play moRe...

-11-

...sTay heaLthy too...

-12-

...nO moRe hOmesick toO...

-13-

...maY aLL ur worriEs go aWay...

-14-

...A simple calculation on how long we will be friends...cOunt the starS in heaven+sand on shore multipled by the heartbeats = forever!...

-15-

...LoVe u aLways...

-16-

...maY u haV ntg to wHine...

-17-

...maKe ur mOm's sacRifice n pAin 22 years aGo coUnt n wOrth it...

-18-

...Count your life by smiles, not tears...Count your age by friends, not years....

-19-

...May each N every passing year bring you wisdom, peace and chEer...

-20-

...Age is not a destination. It's a journey!...maY ur j0urneY B a w0nderFul 1...

-21-

...God bLess u aLways...

-22-

...lasTly,haV a BlasT toDay...

-with lOve,kisseS N huGss-

Saturday, November 28, 2009

PRE-22

today is (or was?) a special day.

i had my pre-birthday celebration with my coursemates in Chilie's @ mid valley.
initially i tot it would be a small group gathering with hengling (my rmmate) n sharon wif her lil sis 4 a simple dinner. a small part of me even thought that my rmmate organised this as a form of 'penebusan dosa' since she scratched my car accidentally 2 days ago lol..

but when the 2 of my housemates brought me into the restaurant n i stepped my feet inside the small lounge booked earlier, i would say that i had quite a shock when i realised the familiar faces of my posting mates (su yee, jing fen, chin sheng, xiao fung, connie, siew fen). we had some chatters before every1 settling down n started to place order.

we took a handful of pictures while waiting 4 the food to be served, with sharon being the camera woman, of which she hated being but insisted in becoming one btw. while we were syoking sendiri, another group of 'unexpected guests' appeared. they were the XY gang (albert, simon, chris, jun yong,chu chun hong). i was especially surprised to see the presence of chun hong as he would have been enjoying his dinner with his family mem in his house if not for the event 2nite. but as usual, he acted in the funniest way he has been behaving and thought that every girl on earth being his fan. well, i would say that no1 else are so 'brave' enough to say such words besides him.









thereafter, every1 was enjoying his or her meal, with occasional photo-shooting, with the most photos of mine taken (frens, forgive me for being so camera-craving 2nite). i even took photo with each of them, personally (s sharon said, 'kai xin jiu hao') hahaha sorry o... i had the smallest bday cake ever, a sophisticated green-tea cake. yum yum not a bad idea at least every1 could finish the cake..




















later on, before we left the restaurant, the triad (albert, simon, chris) handed me a gift, which was a t-shirt with the printing "READY TO LOVE".. i did not know what reaction to give indeed. seemed like they really think that im so desperate, which im not. recently i realised that frens ard me r so eagle to c me finding my 'another half'.. hey frens, u all think 2 much d... kakaka...









when i reached home, they blind-folded me and pulled me into my room. i really 'opened my eyes' to a gift that i had never received before : bedsheet with comforter n pillow case..it was a present from my fellow coursemates, and forgive me for not listing ur names one by one, but u'l indeed be remembered. i den took a few photos yg kurang senonoh with my rmmate.. rupa-rupanya jus now she excused herself to take her phone just to change my bedsheet, kinda 'creative'...













all in all, things happened today were out of my expectation to some extent. n im contented with what my frens did for me n their presence despite the coming long case n short case assessment starting next wk.. thanks again my frens.. my bday wish??? hope that all my wishes come true kakaka... (no la im not dat greedy) but cant tell here la if not tak berkesan d...

oh ya sharon posted something on facebook i find it really nice and warm so decided to post here. it reminds me of the many things that we've gone thru these 3 yrs.. thanks yea my dear hsmate+ah mui+bff:


















time really flies....
thanks for dropping by btw...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Tomyam steamboat at home

well, i should have posted this few days ago but it's until now that i steal some time to upload the photos.

we (sharon, me and our 'guest' pei yee) had a steamboat on monday for our dinner. n i helped in preparing the materials as well, kinda inbelievable!! im learning to become a 'part-time' housewife, which is still a long way to go...

here we go:
















hmm.. looks mouth-watering kan...

come take a closer view:





















3, 2, 1 go!!!

































taking pic with pei yee, our 'ma'am' of the night:

Sunday, November 22, 2009

fortune-telling

yo...
i have something to write again..
just now when organising my purse, i discovered this piece of paper, which i got in a siam temple last week when i went back penang to pray, it reads as follow:

one who gets this is like a flower nearly in bloom. this time is very important as you may easily become very rich or poor, very good or very bad. whatever you do, do it thoughtfully. do not be proud of your ability or richness, but be careful, otherwise your reputation will be ruined.
in case of prosecution you have few hopes to win the case. very few people are willing to help or support you, but there are some people trying to ruin you. your next baby will be a girl. your luck for other things is generally good.

(p/s: ask whether i believe it? most parts of me say i will as its always better to believe so u'r more cautious to what you do. hope the good ones do occur, haha)

x, Y?? z... whatever

我要控制我自己,不愿让谁看见我哭泣。。。

ok... wellll... yes i admit it...
im dumb...
so?

why are there so many people out there trying 2 slice your self-esteem one by one layer, not leaving any space for you 2 at least cover up for yourself?? sometimes when you are so keen to be there just for them, they do not even bother to acknowledge your existence. n sometimes when you do not defend for yourself, people take it for granted and assume that you'r used to be playing the role of being judged and being let down.

it sounds serious and i know that im being emo, i just hope to find an exit 2 my feelings that iv been suppressing for quite a considerable period.. (note: this does not point to any1 specific, any1 reading this pls do not get 2 personalised, thanks).

i admit that im not the kind of person who have much confidence in everything but i really know my stuff well and definitely im also not the kind of person who feel inferior all the time. im jus an average person who is trying to live my life fully, for my studies, for my patients and for the people ard me that i love. i know myself well and i know that im not the meticulous person who pays attention to every single detail in my surroundings. but that is my personality... people think that im absent-minded, ignorant, couldn care less and bla bla bla... i agree and im not trying to defend myself for that, as this is a fact, a fact is always a fact no matter how u'r trying to artifact it. n sometimes i even think that those characters are making me 'special', at least i can keep ppl around me entertained. hahaha (self-hypnotising again)...

well, crapping a lot but the main issue is here. i really can get mad when ppl are trying to relate my above characters to my future career as a doctor. jus because we'r studying medicine, we'r under the magnifying glass of others, ppl will say (or think) stuff like this, "omg, i cant imagine how you'r goin to deliver a baby in future", "gosh, don't you forget ur scissors in the patient's stomach", "i definitely don want doctor like you to be my dr in future". im certainly not a perfect person and prob will commit much more mistakes in future, but at least don't relate everything i do or every single action of mine, to my future career. it's kinda exhausting, and now it had become annoying.

i admit that i dun hav sense of direction, i lose common sense at times and i tend to be oblivious to the surrounding. and sometms im so down with myself for this when relating this to my future life. will i cost patients' lives because of this? will i harm others? when can i free from this pitfall of mine? but what im trying to say is that, i put 101% effort in what i believe and definitely will strive for the best for my patients in future (hopefully). ppl who judge and penalise others today, can u ascertain that u wont do any mistake in future? just because we'r future doctors, so our mistakes bear more consequences? i dont think so... every career saves lives to some extent and pls do not think that only doctors can cost human lives.

so next time please reflect upon urself before judging others, as you never know that your words sometimes bear hole in people's heart.

oop... i gues this is the longest blog iv ever written so better stop here..
p/s: no offence to any1, its jus a random thought.

(God, i really need your strenght to lead me on this long long journey. pls bless me that at least i won cause harm or pain to the others. 'amithaba'...)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

life's brief candle

To-morrow,and to-morrow,-and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out,out,brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow,a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard of no more;it is a tale
Told by an idiot,full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Friday, October 23, 2009

exhausted but contented

i would say that im totally worn out now..
just coming back from the English Speaking Zone in ktdi...
im actually quite impressed with all those good jobs done by all the committe members, as the event was much more betta than wat i expected from the rehearsal yesterday which was a complete chaos..

thank God my performance was not understandard, as I would expect after those harsh words by the judge during the audition 2 days ago... somehow feel a bit relieved now...

but the newer n bigger challenge is yet 2 come...
as im in the internal medicine posting now, dating wif da books is a must on everyday basis.
im looking forward expecting this as an extremely interesting posting, though the fear of failing the examination is so strong deep inside my heart...

2mr is the last day im with my dear rmmate b4 she goin jkm for 2 months...
n we'v planned our activity in 2mr's morning in tesco extra haha... (so cheap)

anyway i hav 2 stop by now d.... if not i really can die of exhaustion..
nite nite 2 myself...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

crossing fingers

it seems that bad things do not stop happening from the day i entered surgery posting...
it has little connection with the posting itself but too many bad things had occured during these 2 months.

after being totally fed up by my stupid corrupted pc which spoiled my case-write up last week, today i (or more accurately, we) were shocked by the news of entry of another new hsmate, meaning im going to have another roommate in the already congested room.

im not trying to alienate my new hsmate as everyone has the right to stay in this hs as this is just a hostel as every other houses in laman midah. i just could not imagine what it is going to be like living with a total stranger of diiferent ethnicity who is 15 years older than u.

of course il welcome her presence with an open heart. and it's a pity of her who came in so late and has to use every facility that is worn out and rejected by us from the first day itself. perhaps il b the one making the sacrifice to move up the double-decker bed as i dun think any1 would want to do so...

im not a greedy person and im not good in complaining. so here i am, just to hope for the best for the coming days, and of course, my final exam which will be in less than 2 weeks from now. as the chinese saying, 阳光总在风雨后,hopefully things are getting back in track after all these blues and greys.

~continue wif my topic of the nite, 'skin tumor'~

Friday, August 28, 2009

i'm not happy

as implicated from the above tittle, i'm not happy, at least not as happy as i seem to be physically...
iv always been telling myself that we live in shadows of others, and if the people around us are pleasant, y should we bother about our own feelings? so, we ought to forgive and forget, in whichever encounter.

it is until today that i realise the price of adhering to the above self-hypnotising principle...
if the person concerned has already 'labelled' u as someone he or she has chosen to dislike, trying to please him or her will turn into a futile effort...
u'l still be viewed as someone who does not bother to take the so called 'friendship' seriously.

i admit that i'm not someone good at pleasing people who does not respond to my conversation...
in most circumstances il just let it be and selectively ignoring the person who ignites my frustration.

im certainly not an emo person and most of the time il just sweep my emotions under the carpet as i believe that it is inapproprite to show whatever feeling u have if it may have negative impact on others. it wil just worsen the scenario and make the parties involved to have an impression that u do not know how to carry yourself.

what im trying to say is that in a conflict it does not mean that the victory is always on the side of the person who expresses his or her feelings more... sometimes the one who keeps quite does so because he or she cherishes the friendship between you two and does not want to inflict it with any 'trauma', as a wound which heals will somehow turn into fibous tissue which is no longer as strong as the original tissue... haha a lame example, isn't it?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

i hate myself!!!

i'm not kidding but i really mean it when i write the above title.

predisposing factor?
well, i lost my handphone, AGAIN...
as u can see, this is not my first time, and i seem to be replaying the undesirable event that had occured before.

perhaps its not about the material aspect that ignited my misery and resentment towards myself, it is the personality and character of mine that initiated all those unhappy events.

recently i have been reflecting a lot upon myself... how long it takes for me to get rid of my clumsiness and absent-minded behaviours that are making who am i today? perhaps i am not that fit for this career, as i wonder what kind of doctor i will become in the future if i am to carry these freckles in days to come. p/s: pls don't say that i think too much, it's really a big issue to me.

i understand the fact that everyone has his or her strenght and weaknesses, and of course nobody is perfect, but i just cannot stop myself fr thinking of the consequence if i am to behave like this in the future.

well, maybe i should think in the positive side from this event..
sometimes when u lose something u'l get some other things in return..
i know it's just a way to deceive myself but i rather think so if it makes me feel better, hahaha.

i gues i'm falling into unconscious state in afew minutes' time so its better to stop here before i start crapping nonsence...

tommorow will be better (hopefully)...