才发现，

笑着哭，

最痛。。。

~无言~

容忍的人其实并不笨，
只是宁可对自己残忍。。

*大家开心就好*

STOP, LOOK, GO...

came across a very interesting phrase recently: "The harder you work, the luckier you get". there was, however, another saying which is highly contradicting: "Don't try too hard, the best thing comes when you least expect it".

it's the end of the first posting in final year, and we'v all concluded a v peculiar phenomenon where nearly all final year medical students had shown some alteration in behaviour after entering final year, including myself, ironically.

it's quite apparent that every1 seems to be falling into the valleys of emo-ing, emptiness, altered behaviour and etc, those no longer news as i log in facebook everyday. those days were gone when we could sit back and relax after each posting, at least having a-week holidays before we enrol ourselves into the new one.

seeing us now, we'v jus done wif our end of posting exam yest, the new posting is awaiting ahead jus the day after 2mr. and worstil, the onli 2-day 'holidays' that we hav is filled wif the so called "medical career carnival" (mecca).

every1 was so down after coming back fr the carnival which was supposed to enlighten us about our future. it is quite obvious that surging number of medical doctors in tis country wil definitely render a stiff competition in our future career.

so where my future holds? what if it is not of what iv always imagined of? wil it be better, or worse? what wil i be doing if i did not end up doing medicine at all?

生命没有如果，所有发生的一切都是上天最好的安排。
“一切安好”("3 idiots")

A PAUSE ...

the past 1 week had been a really hectic one and perhaps would be the 'fullest' week in my first posting in final year.

surgery is my first posting in final year and surprisingly, it turns out that i don't really hate it as much as i did when i was in 3rd year. though still lack of motivation with little remnants of knowledge left in my memory, somehow i felt inspired... and STRESSed of course.

it was like you were a toddler yesterday, and now you're expected to walk like an adult. and any stupid move or uncertainty you encounter is equivalent to killing someone, and the penalty is worse than a death sentence.

i truely understand the rationale behind each doctor's expectation from us, but somehow or other it may be a hard time for all of us, and we have no time for adaptation, no right to complain. "you're just few months away from being a doctor, and please brush up yourself before you're killing someone" these are words familiar to all final year medical students that sometimes we pretend that we had not listened to them.

for the past 1 week, we were on-call for the whole wkend (and in fact we just went to show face for a while =) then assissted the first surgery in my life, completed two case write-ups in 1 week time, lost and found my sthetoscope, presented to the 3rd year students in the department, went on-call again last nite and witnessed live and death just in front our eyes.

of course tis is jus some recap of what actually happens in our life as final year medical students. there are many more instances where turbulence may set in, and i shall cross my fingers hoping for the best, or at least not the worst of the coming days...

*amitabha*

~Big Big World~

I can see the first leafs falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside

Outside it's no raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end

FINAL countdown

I can still clearly recall the first day of I becoming a medical student, the first time of I going to the wards on the first day of clinical year, the first time of I witnessing a caesarean section, the first time of I conducting the delivery of a baby, the first time a patient said 'thank you' to me, the first time holding an autopsy knife, and sadly the first time witnessing a death. And the list goes on.

And yesterday, we came back from the 3rd PPD (personal n professional development) camp.
And now, we'r back to reality after 3 months of honey-moon like holidays.
And tomorrow, it will be the first day when we all being labeled as "final year medical students".

Frankly speaking, the PPD camp we went for the past 1 week had instilled me more fear than anticipation for the coming year(s).

It was told that the life of being a houseman will be full of sweats n tears while that of becoming a specialist will be filled with sweats, tears n blood.

I know that sometimes the fear itself does more harm than the actual thing that is being feared, but most of the time u can't help but just worrying rather than 'enjoying' the process.

I can see lots of misery n hardship in times to come, but may them be alternated with moments of joy n contentment. And let my friends n i cherish the final moments of becoming a student.

God, may I have enough strength to go through all this.
*amitabha*

“献给热爱生命的朋友”

我们不可以控制生命的长度，
但是，我们可以选择
决定生命的宽度。

我们不可以左右天气的变化，
但是，我们可以选择
改变自己的心情。

我们不可以改变自己的相貌，
但是，我们可以选择
展现自己的笑容。

我们不可以控制他人，
但是，我们可以选择
掌握自己。

虽然我们不可以预知明天的情况，
但是，我们却可以选择
好好的利用今天。

同样的，我们不可以样样都得胜，
但是，我们却可以选择
事事都尽力而为。

------------------------------
以上文章是翻开好久没打开的文件夹找到的，
是中一时一位临教所给的。
好多道理，其实大家老早就已领悟，
但是，
实践永远赶不上领悟。
原来，
大家都习惯健忘，
习惯把所懂的一切，
埋藏在看不到的角落。。